dru_evilista: "1: Collect underpants. 2: ??? 3: Profit!" (HappyFace)
[personal profile] dru_evilista
Ok, so it started off normal, I'm like in an episode of Burn Notice, I'm like a Victim Of the Week, Michael Westen makes a empty house look like he owns it, has to go off and do Spy stuff somewhere else,so I'm alone in this house, I like lock my self in the bathroom when suddenly I like have cramps, and GIVE BIRTH TO A GIANT EGG!!!!!!!!!!! Yes you read that right, I gave birth to a giant, blood covered egg. And this dream is fucking all senses involved, I can feel it, I feel the pain, I feel the warm, wet, sticky with blood egg in my hands, I can smell the blood. So I'm like...in shock and dazedly looking around the room like "WTF do I do with this thing?" think vaguely about putting it in the sink, but then think "Wait, you're supposed to keep eggs warm..." so sit there on the toilet hugging a blood soaked egg. Then it hatches. And I'm like scrabbling to not drop it, and trying to remember what I know about hatching eggs (I hatched quail eggs in like middle school) but it's not a bird. It's a human baby. It finishes hatching so I smack it, like they do on tv, and it throws up more blood on the floor, and starts crying, then I wake up gagging. ...and having cramps so vaguely terrified this was a like a Buffy psychic Dream Of The Future, dream... God dammit I need to get my tubes tied. Or a hysterectomy. Maybe both.

I need to so much wine and chocolate now.
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dru_evilista: "1: Collect underpants. 2: ??? 3: Profit!" (Default)
dru_evilista

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