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dru_evilista
Sorry for the insanely long wait... *grins and bounces* We're coming closer to the end! *eyes fic and time table* Err...soon. I think. If you're having as much trouble with the time table of how far along he is as I am, he's 30 weeks by the end of this chapter.
Parts One, Two, Three, and Four and Five
Title: Why you should never visit family if your last name is Chase
Author: Dru
Fandom: House M.D. X-over with Buffy/Angel
Pairing: Spoken of Angel/Cordelia other wise none
Summary: After a visit to his cousin Cordelia in LA Chase has a little problem....Ok make that a big problem!
Archive: If you want it!
Rating: M to be safe. Most likly not needed but I like to be safe!
Parts: 6/?
Status: WIP
Spoilers: for Buffy and Angel umm if you haven't seen them after all this time.....dude. House up until and after Deception. Set after House is back in charge.
Series/Sequel: No
Website: http://www.geocities.com/dru_evilpointybiteyone
Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D., any of the characters, or Buffy or or Angel or any of them either. *sulk*
Authors notes & Warnings: This is insane I know. *sighs* I've battled the plot bunnies for days but in the end as always I gave in and am writing this. It's a male preg. Yes I said it! Chase gets knocked up! Thank god for X-overs or this would be even stupider then it's going to be! To make this work (And make my self happy...) consider seasons 6 and 7 of Buffy to never have happened and seasons 4 and 5 of Angel to never have happened. *squints* Ok ok ok the Cordy/Connor/Jasmine crap and the Wolfram and Hart stuff never happened. Angel and co are still in the hotel all together working to help the hopeless and Cordy's still Cordy not....whatever you wanna call her during the total slaughtering of her character! Conner...umm *thinks of some way Conner could be non-annoying.* Eh screw it! Conner was never kidnapped! He's a toddler (*does quick math* About 4 now) Angel, Cordy and everyone have been raising since he was born. Cordy still did the half demon thing to keep her head from exploding and she and Angel are a happy couple of parents. Sunnydale is still there Buffy never came back and everyone's still all fighting by them selves, sometimes calling LA, etc... WARNINGS other then the Male pregnancy....I really, really, REALLY suck at writing medical babble! So um...forgive me? I'm googleing my fingers off but well... still not the best in the world! And I've never actually been pregnant my self so I'm going by research. lots and lots of research!
Now! On to the fic!
---
Chase flipped though the latest test results on their patient and frowned gnawing on a pencil. "I still say it's drugs."
"Yes! Of course! It's magic drugs that don't show up on any of the tox screens! Quick! Cameron get the magic drugs antidote before it's too late!"
Chase rolled his eyes. "It fits the symptoms. It could be a drug we haven't tested for. Or some new designer drug that don't show up on tests."
"And I still say it's lupus. Or maybe vasculitis." Foreman insisted. "We need to start treatment now!"
"It's not lupus! It's never lupus! Or vasculitis!" Chase snapped. "It's drugs!"
"It's toxins! It fits better then drugs, and Foreman, there's no way in hell it's lupus." Cameron snapped.
"Drugs!" Chase barked glaring at his two coworkers.
"Think so? Then go! Run more tests, my little duckling! Come back when you have something, or the patient's dead. Ya know which every comes first. Cameron, Foreman search his apartment. See if you can find any toxins or Chase's magic drugs, or anything that might be causing this."
The three doctors quickly moved to follow his orders.
House sat back staring at the white board and the symptoms scrawled across it, thinking.
---
Chase, Cameron and Foreman came crashing though the glass doors at the same time excitedly. "I was right!" "Chase was right!"
House looked up from his game boy and quirked eyebrow at the three doctors. "Come again?"
"The tests came back showing amphetamines!" "We found these in his apartment!" The three glared at each other as they spoke at the same time again.
House grinned in amusement. "So Blondy was right? Oooh I'm really going to have to cut out the dumb blond jokes aren't I? So what are you standing around for? Go! Treat the patient."
The three turned to go but House stopped Chase with a word. "Chase."
The other two glanced back but continued on to treat the patient.
"Good job on the diagnosis."
Chase grinned brightly at the praise.
"Oh and speaking of tests...your tests came back." House pick up a folder from inside a drawer in his desk.
Chase paled and swallowed hard, staring at the folder. "Uh. Yeah?"
"Yup. Want to know the results?" House asked innocently.
Chase stared at the folder looking faint.
"Oh sit down before you fall down already!"
Chase thumped down into the chair in front of the desk still looking sick while staring at the folder.
House finely got bored with messing with Chase's head (and was starting to feel slightly bad), so tossed the file across the desk and sat back.
Chase slowly opened the file looking once again like he was going before a firing squad, then blinked and frowned. "Normal."
"You should be happy to hear you're STD free."
"Of course I'm sodding STD free I haven't had sex in forever and when I was I used protection! As you damn well know from my history!" Chase snapped.
House continued like Chase hadn't spoken. "No problems with Rh antibodies. White blood count, WBC differential, red blood cell count, hematocrit, hemoglobin, red blood cell indices, platelet count, and blood smear all normal. No signs of gestational diabetes or any other abnormalities. All tests came back perfect. Seems you're having a text book perfectly normal pregnancy. If there can be such a thing with a male."
"And you let me get completely panicked thinking there was something wrong?!"
House smirked. "It's amusing watching you freak out at the drop of a hat. You're normally so relaxed and laid back I'm temped to check if you even have a pulse."
"I- you- ARGH!" Chase slapped the folder down on the desk and stormed from the office.
House chuckled and slid the file back into the desk. "Well that entertained me for a few minutes..."
---
(A/N: At this point I'm going to start making more short jumps though the pregnancy other wise this fic is going to go on for years...)
9 Weeks Later
Chase was fairly bouncing off the walls. He'd hit the second trimester energy burst and was feeling all twitchy.
He scowled around the office and glared at the book he was reading. He was banned from clinic duty since no one wanted him exposed to all those sick people in his condition, he hadn't been allowed on breaking and entering missions since all this had started, so he was stuck in the lab, (and then only allowed to do safe things!), or sitting here in the conference room reading, or being badgered into taking naps in House's or Dr. Wilson's or Dr. Cuddy's, office. Or really anywhere. Even with the new energy burst he was still always getting tired. Another fun perk of being pregnant.
He was, in simple terms, bored out of his mind.
He got up to get him self another cup of tea and scowled when he had to grab the chair to balance him self. God he missed his center of balance! He was never going to get used to this extra weight up front. Which was only going to get worse over the next 23 weeks.
He frowned as he though about that. He looked down at his already larger stomach. Even with trying to wear baggier clothing and keeping on his lab coat, holding files, and other such lame attempts at disguising him self it was getting more visible. You could only blame so much on 'My new girlfriend is a great cook!'.
He set his mug down and leaned against the counter frowning. "God I knew it was coming I shouldn't be surprised. I was planing for this from the beginning. But..."
"Talking to your self, wombat? Are we going to have to add psychosis to you medical file?" House asked entering the conference room.
"I'm fat."
House stopped and turned, blinking blankly at Chase. "Huh?"
"Look at me! I'm huge! As if I wasn't already hiding always in here... Its over. I knew it was coming I shouldn't be surprised. It's finely time."
House shook his head. "Ok you lost me. What conversation did I walk into the middle of?"
"Look at me! I'm showing! No matter how much I try to hide it, it's getting visible! My center of balance is totally gone, I'm slowly losing my mind from sitting around this office all day, and, and, and just look at me! I have to leave. I have to go hide out with Cordy, or, or, or something. Someone's going to notice! There's no way they can't!"
House sighed. Yay. Another Chase freak out. As it turned out, while he was a calm relaxed person pre-pregnancy, or even now in medical situations, when it came to his pregnancy he was extremely prone to complete freak outs.
"Chase. You're fine. You're not going to run off to live with your cousin. We talked about this. Hell haven't you heard the gossip? The gossip vine created a perfect alibi for us."
Chase stopped in his panicking to give house a confused look.
"The 'sudden' weight gain, the spending a lot of time with Wilson and Cuddy and Me and being tired and sick all the time... the rumor mill thinks you have cancer." House said with a grin.
Chase blinked. "Really?"
"Yup! They think Wilson is treating you privately as a favor to me with Cuddy's permission. So we're good for at least another few months. So You can relax, Mommy!"
House critically eyed Chase then hooked a chair with his cane and pulled it over and shoved it under Chase just before he dropped. "You ok?"
Chase stared into space looking shocked. Then suddenly jerked as a hand shot to his stomach.
"Chase?! What's wrong?!" House demanded worriedly.
"I...felt it move." Chase said looking up at House with a look of wonder of his face.
---
Parts One, Two, Three, and Four and Five
Title: Why you should never visit family if your last name is Chase
Author: Dru
Fandom: House M.D. X-over with Buffy/Angel
Pairing: Spoken of Angel/Cordelia other wise none
Summary: After a visit to his cousin Cordelia in LA Chase has a little problem....Ok make that a big problem!
Archive: If you want it!
Rating: M to be safe. Most likly not needed but I like to be safe!
Parts: 6/?
Status: WIP
Spoilers: for Buffy and Angel umm if you haven't seen them after all this time.....dude. House up until and after Deception. Set after House is back in charge.
Series/Sequel: No
Website: http://www.geocities.com/dru_evilpointybiteyone
Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D., any of the characters, or Buffy or or Angel or any of them either. *sulk*
Authors notes & Warnings: This is insane I know. *sighs* I've battled the plot bunnies for days but in the end as always I gave in and am writing this. It's a male preg. Yes I said it! Chase gets knocked up! Thank god for X-overs or this would be even stupider then it's going to be! To make this work (And make my self happy...) consider seasons 6 and 7 of Buffy to never have happened and seasons 4 and 5 of Angel to never have happened. *squints* Ok ok ok the Cordy/Connor/Jasmine crap and the Wolfram and Hart stuff never happened. Angel and co are still in the hotel all together working to help the hopeless and Cordy's still Cordy not....whatever you wanna call her during the total slaughtering of her character! Conner...umm *thinks of some way Conner could be non-annoying.* Eh screw it! Conner was never kidnapped! He's a toddler (*does quick math* About 4 now) Angel, Cordy and everyone have been raising since he was born. Cordy still did the half demon thing to keep her head from exploding and she and Angel are a happy couple of parents. Sunnydale is still there Buffy never came back and everyone's still all fighting by them selves, sometimes calling LA, etc... WARNINGS other then the Male pregnancy....I really, really, REALLY suck at writing medical babble! So um...forgive me? I'm googleing my fingers off but well... still not the best in the world! And I've never actually been pregnant my self so I'm going by research. lots and lots of research!
Now! On to the fic!
---
Chase flipped though the latest test results on their patient and frowned gnawing on a pencil. "I still say it's drugs."
"Yes! Of course! It's magic drugs that don't show up on any of the tox screens! Quick! Cameron get the magic drugs antidote before it's too late!"
Chase rolled his eyes. "It fits the symptoms. It could be a drug we haven't tested for. Or some new designer drug that don't show up on tests."
"And I still say it's lupus. Or maybe vasculitis." Foreman insisted. "We need to start treatment now!"
"It's not lupus! It's never lupus! Or vasculitis!" Chase snapped. "It's drugs!"
"It's toxins! It fits better then drugs, and Foreman, there's no way in hell it's lupus." Cameron snapped.
"Drugs!" Chase barked glaring at his two coworkers.
"Think so? Then go! Run more tests, my little duckling! Come back when you have something, or the patient's dead. Ya know which every comes first. Cameron, Foreman search his apartment. See if you can find any toxins or Chase's magic drugs, or anything that might be causing this."
The three doctors quickly moved to follow his orders.
House sat back staring at the white board and the symptoms scrawled across it, thinking.
---
Chase, Cameron and Foreman came crashing though the glass doors at the same time excitedly. "I was right!" "Chase was right!"
House looked up from his game boy and quirked eyebrow at the three doctors. "Come again?"
"The tests came back showing amphetamines!" "We found these in his apartment!" The three glared at each other as they spoke at the same time again.
House grinned in amusement. "So Blondy was right? Oooh I'm really going to have to cut out the dumb blond jokes aren't I? So what are you standing around for? Go! Treat the patient."
The three turned to go but House stopped Chase with a word. "Chase."
The other two glanced back but continued on to treat the patient.
"Good job on the diagnosis."
Chase grinned brightly at the praise.
"Oh and speaking of tests...your tests came back." House pick up a folder from inside a drawer in his desk.
Chase paled and swallowed hard, staring at the folder. "Uh. Yeah?"
"Yup. Want to know the results?" House asked innocently.
Chase stared at the folder looking faint.
"Oh sit down before you fall down already!"
Chase thumped down into the chair in front of the desk still looking sick while staring at the folder.
House finely got bored with messing with Chase's head (and was starting to feel slightly bad), so tossed the file across the desk and sat back.
Chase slowly opened the file looking once again like he was going before a firing squad, then blinked and frowned. "Normal."
"You should be happy to hear you're STD free."
"Of course I'm sodding STD free I haven't had sex in forever and when I was I used protection! As you damn well know from my history!" Chase snapped.
House continued like Chase hadn't spoken. "No problems with Rh antibodies. White blood count, WBC differential, red blood cell count, hematocrit, hemoglobin, red blood cell indices, platelet count, and blood smear all normal. No signs of gestational diabetes or any other abnormalities. All tests came back perfect. Seems you're having a text book perfectly normal pregnancy. If there can be such a thing with a male."
"And you let me get completely panicked thinking there was something wrong?!"
House smirked. "It's amusing watching you freak out at the drop of a hat. You're normally so relaxed and laid back I'm temped to check if you even have a pulse."
"I- you- ARGH!" Chase slapped the folder down on the desk and stormed from the office.
House chuckled and slid the file back into the desk. "Well that entertained me for a few minutes..."
---
(A/N: At this point I'm going to start making more short jumps though the pregnancy other wise this fic is going to go on for years...)
9 Weeks Later
Chase was fairly bouncing off the walls. He'd hit the second trimester energy burst and was feeling all twitchy.
He scowled around the office and glared at the book he was reading. He was banned from clinic duty since no one wanted him exposed to all those sick people in his condition, he hadn't been allowed on breaking and entering missions since all this had started, so he was stuck in the lab, (and then only allowed to do safe things!), or sitting here in the conference room reading, or being badgered into taking naps in House's or Dr. Wilson's or Dr. Cuddy's, office. Or really anywhere. Even with the new energy burst he was still always getting tired. Another fun perk of being pregnant.
He was, in simple terms, bored out of his mind.
He got up to get him self another cup of tea and scowled when he had to grab the chair to balance him self. God he missed his center of balance! He was never going to get used to this extra weight up front. Which was only going to get worse over the next 23 weeks.
He frowned as he though about that. He looked down at his already larger stomach. Even with trying to wear baggier clothing and keeping on his lab coat, holding files, and other such lame attempts at disguising him self it was getting more visible. You could only blame so much on 'My new girlfriend is a great cook!'.
He set his mug down and leaned against the counter frowning. "God I knew it was coming I shouldn't be surprised. I was planing for this from the beginning. But..."
"Talking to your self, wombat? Are we going to have to add psychosis to you medical file?" House asked entering the conference room.
"I'm fat."
House stopped and turned, blinking blankly at Chase. "Huh?"
"Look at me! I'm huge! As if I wasn't already hiding always in here... Its over. I knew it was coming I shouldn't be surprised. It's finely time."
House shook his head. "Ok you lost me. What conversation did I walk into the middle of?"
"Look at me! I'm showing! No matter how much I try to hide it, it's getting visible! My center of balance is totally gone, I'm slowly losing my mind from sitting around this office all day, and, and, and just look at me! I have to leave. I have to go hide out with Cordy, or, or, or something. Someone's going to notice! There's no way they can't!"
House sighed. Yay. Another Chase freak out. As it turned out, while he was a calm relaxed person pre-pregnancy, or even now in medical situations, when it came to his pregnancy he was extremely prone to complete freak outs.
"Chase. You're fine. You're not going to run off to live with your cousin. We talked about this. Hell haven't you heard the gossip? The gossip vine created a perfect alibi for us."
Chase stopped in his panicking to give house a confused look.
"The 'sudden' weight gain, the spending a lot of time with Wilson and Cuddy and Me and being tired and sick all the time... the rumor mill thinks you have cancer." House said with a grin.
Chase blinked. "Really?"
"Yup! They think Wilson is treating you privately as a favor to me with Cuddy's permission. So we're good for at least another few months. So You can relax, Mommy!"
House critically eyed Chase then hooked a chair with his cane and pulled it over and shoved it under Chase just before he dropped. "You ok?"
Chase stared into space looking shocked. Then suddenly jerked as a hand shot to his stomach.
"Chase?! What's wrong?!" House demanded worriedly.
"I...felt it move." Chase said looking up at House with a look of wonder of his face.
---
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(no subject)
Date: Friday, July 28th, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)oh, right, review, yay! you're continuing! psst. did you hear? wilson is treating chase for cancer privately, wonder if he's going to make it. brilliant, absolutely brilliant, and it completely makes sense for you to skip parts of the pregnancy, i'd be fifty by the time you finished if it was a day to day fic. *bounces off to squee some more*
(no subject)
Date: Friday, July 28th, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC)