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dru_evilistaIanto breathed slowly, legs folded under him, sitting in a patch of sunlight in Owen's living room. OC floated about over his head, circling him and recording.
By force of will, after a long stretch of time, he slowly relaxed, and slipped into meditation.
He looked around the forest, the same one he first found him self in all those months ago. "Hello? Is- is there anyone here? Anyone who can help me? Please?" His voice echoed in the forest, and he heard the desperation and pleading carry far.
Nothing. Ianto sighed and dropped down the the ground. What was he going to do? Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn't things stay like they were? Happy. They'd been so happy. Not exactly normal, they still were members of Torchwood after all, but as normal as things got, happy, in love, getting sex regularly...
And now he was a murderer. He'd killed a room full of weevils. With his mind! He couldn't stand the thought he might do that to someone else. To someone he loved.
Ianto hugged his knees to his chest and slowly rocked back and forth as he felt tears prick his eyes.
He shook his head and pulled in a breath, pulling him self back to the real world.
He looked around and stood. Maybe some more cleaning...
He paced around the flat, wiping things off, straightening already straight piles.
Finely he hissed though his teeth and went to the bedroom to get dressed. He'd go out. Maybe a walk would calm him down.
Strangely, his clothes were gone. No shoes, no trousers, no shirts. Even Jack's things were gone. His choices were go out in his boxers and T-shirt, try too squeeze into Owen's tiny clothes, or stay home. He glared into OC's hovering camera, "Jack? Owen? You- you're getting decaf!"
He huffed and wandered back into the living room. He could try watching tv, or a movie, but he just felt too restless and tense.
He dropped down to the floor, to give meditating another chance. With a sigh he flopped backwards, sprawling out on the hard wood, and closed his eyes.
He opened his eyes in the forest, and started walking. He was too miserable to feel that old thrill of running though the woods, his dog companion, the wolverine, and the swamp lion, no where in sight. He walked slowly, hoping for some inspiration on how to fix this.
He walked into a clearing and frowned. There was something... he walked further in, and felt an unexplained urge to walk around the spot he was heading towards. He was Torchwood. He was very familiar with perception filters, and this felt vaguely like that. Like something was being hidden from him. He tried to push forward, but felt like a forcefield was holding him back.
He glared and tried to moved around to another side, and get at it from there. No luck.
He kept trying. He tried from every angle, he tried climbing a tree and dropping down from above, which only got him landing out side the bubbled off area, on his arse. He even tried mentally shoving it. Nothing worked, he was not getting in there.
Suddenly his head jerked towards the side, like he was hearing, but not really hearing something. He felt a sharp tugging in his chest, and found him self rushing back to the real world.
"IANTO! Open the fucking door, or I'm letting Jack kick it down!" Owen barked from the hallway outside.
Ianto jumped up with a curse. "Coming! Coming! No door kicking!"
He closed the door, pulled the chain off, and Owen and Jack burst in, looking concerned. "Ianto? Sweetheart, what happened? Are you alright?"
Owen was pushing Ianto down on the couch, starting to examine him, even as Jack fired off questions worriedly.
Ianto gave them both bewildered looks.
"Ianto, you haven't moved in hours. We thought you'd died! Fuck! You're freezing!" Owen snapped pulling a thermometer out of his medical kit and tried to press it into Ianto's ear. Ianto glared. "Yan, stop being difficult!"
Ianto glared harder, then paused. "If you thought I'd died, the door would be in splinters."
"...alright fine, we knew you were still alive, just really, really really deep."
"How?"
Owen scratched his ear and looked slightly embarrassed. "Uh...I sprinted to the hub and back to stick a monitor in here, while you were in the shower this morning." Owen pointed into the corner and Ianto spotted a small black box, sitting amongst the knick knacks, blending in.
"Owen!" Ianto snapped outraged.
"Jack said I could! We needed to monitor your vitals, since we wouldn't be here to do it our selves."
"I'm surprised you didn't just stick a tracker up my arse, while I was asleep..."
"We've thought about it." Jack muttered, going into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Ianto glared, then it was ruined by a yawn.
Owen rubbed his arm, pulling him in to hug him.
Ianto melted into the familiar, warm touch for a minute. Then he remembered where he was, and what was happening and tensed and pulled away. "Owen no. I haven't found a way to fix this. Did- did you find anything yet, today?"
Owen sighed, rubbing his face. "Not really, no. I'm sorry Yan...we're trying."
Ianto squeezed his eyes closed and sighed. "I know, Owen. It's not your fault. It's mine. It's my fault."
"Ianto don't make me smack you. You keep that talk up, and I will. You are not to blame. You didn't ask to get the ability to blow up heads, it just happened to you. You were defending your self. If I kicked someone, who was trying to kill me, in the chest and hit them in the precise place it takes to stop their heart, would you let me call my self a murderer? No because it was a accident while I was trying to protect my self."
Ianto shook his head. "Owen I'm tired."
Owen rolled his eyes. "Look, answer some questions about what happened when the weevils attacked, and have some lunch, then I'll drug you into lala land again, alright?"
Ianto didn’t want to talk about, didn’t want to remember, but he did want to go to sleep and not wake up for a few hours, so nodded his agreement.
Owen stood and held out his hand to Ianto. "Come on. We'll talk while I cook. In the mood for anything in particular?"
"Not really hungry. Whatever you want to make." Ianto sighed ignoring Owen's hand and pushed him self up from the couch. Owen didn't say, or show anything, but Ianto felt his flash of hurt and felt guilty. He tried to ignore it. It was was for Owen’s own good. He was dangerous, and could hurt him. Owen turned and headed into the kitchen, Ianto following.
Jack hovered nearby, with a cup of hot tea, and Ianto could feel the emotions just wafting off him. Love, worry, fear, affection, and just a hint of lust. He turned and gave Jack a small smile.
By force of will, after a long stretch of time, he slowly relaxed, and slipped into meditation.
He looked around the forest, the same one he first found him self in all those months ago. "Hello? Is- is there anyone here? Anyone who can help me? Please?" His voice echoed in the forest, and he heard the desperation and pleading carry far.
Nothing. Ianto sighed and dropped down the the ground. What was he going to do? Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn't things stay like they were? Happy. They'd been so happy. Not exactly normal, they still were members of Torchwood after all, but as normal as things got, happy, in love, getting sex regularly...
And now he was a murderer. He'd killed a room full of weevils. With his mind! He couldn't stand the thought he might do that to someone else. To someone he loved.
Ianto hugged his knees to his chest and slowly rocked back and forth as he felt tears prick his eyes.
He shook his head and pulled in a breath, pulling him self back to the real world.
He looked around and stood. Maybe some more cleaning...
He paced around the flat, wiping things off, straightening already straight piles.
Finely he hissed though his teeth and went to the bedroom to get dressed. He'd go out. Maybe a walk would calm him down.
Strangely, his clothes were gone. No shoes, no trousers, no shirts. Even Jack's things were gone. His choices were go out in his boxers and T-shirt, try too squeeze into Owen's tiny clothes, or stay home. He glared into OC's hovering camera, "Jack? Owen? You- you're getting decaf!"
He huffed and wandered back into the living room. He could try watching tv, or a movie, but he just felt too restless and tense.
He dropped down to the floor, to give meditating another chance. With a sigh he flopped backwards, sprawling out on the hard wood, and closed his eyes.
He opened his eyes in the forest, and started walking. He was too miserable to feel that old thrill of running though the woods, his dog companion, the wolverine, and the swamp lion, no where in sight. He walked slowly, hoping for some inspiration on how to fix this.
He walked into a clearing and frowned. There was something... he walked further in, and felt an unexplained urge to walk around the spot he was heading towards. He was Torchwood. He was very familiar with perception filters, and this felt vaguely like that. Like something was being hidden from him. He tried to push forward, but felt like a forcefield was holding him back.
He glared and tried to moved around to another side, and get at it from there. No luck.
He kept trying. He tried from every angle, he tried climbing a tree and dropping down from above, which only got him landing out side the bubbled off area, on his arse. He even tried mentally shoving it. Nothing worked, he was not getting in there.
Suddenly his head jerked towards the side, like he was hearing, but not really hearing something. He felt a sharp tugging in his chest, and found him self rushing back to the real world.
"IANTO! Open the fucking door, or I'm letting Jack kick it down!" Owen barked from the hallway outside.
Ianto jumped up with a curse. "Coming! Coming! No door kicking!"
He closed the door, pulled the chain off, and Owen and Jack burst in, looking concerned. "Ianto? Sweetheart, what happened? Are you alright?"
Owen was pushing Ianto down on the couch, starting to examine him, even as Jack fired off questions worriedly.
Ianto gave them both bewildered looks.
"Ianto, you haven't moved in hours. We thought you'd died! Fuck! You're freezing!" Owen snapped pulling a thermometer out of his medical kit and tried to press it into Ianto's ear. Ianto glared. "Yan, stop being difficult!"
Ianto glared harder, then paused. "If you thought I'd died, the door would be in splinters."
"...alright fine, we knew you were still alive, just really, really really deep."
"How?"
Owen scratched his ear and looked slightly embarrassed. "Uh...I sprinted to the hub and back to stick a monitor in here, while you were in the shower this morning." Owen pointed into the corner and Ianto spotted a small black box, sitting amongst the knick knacks, blending in.
"Owen!" Ianto snapped outraged.
"Jack said I could! We needed to monitor your vitals, since we wouldn't be here to do it our selves."
"I'm surprised you didn't just stick a tracker up my arse, while I was asleep..."
"We've thought about it." Jack muttered, going into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Ianto glared, then it was ruined by a yawn.
Owen rubbed his arm, pulling him in to hug him.
Ianto melted into the familiar, warm touch for a minute. Then he remembered where he was, and what was happening and tensed and pulled away. "Owen no. I haven't found a way to fix this. Did- did you find anything yet, today?"
Owen sighed, rubbing his face. "Not really, no. I'm sorry Yan...we're trying."
Ianto squeezed his eyes closed and sighed. "I know, Owen. It's not your fault. It's mine. It's my fault."
"Ianto don't make me smack you. You keep that talk up, and I will. You are not to blame. You didn't ask to get the ability to blow up heads, it just happened to you. You were defending your self. If I kicked someone, who was trying to kill me, in the chest and hit them in the precise place it takes to stop their heart, would you let me call my self a murderer? No because it was a accident while I was trying to protect my self."
Ianto shook his head. "Owen I'm tired."
Owen rolled his eyes. "Look, answer some questions about what happened when the weevils attacked, and have some lunch, then I'll drug you into lala land again, alright?"
Ianto didn’t want to talk about, didn’t want to remember, but he did want to go to sleep and not wake up for a few hours, so nodded his agreement.
Owen stood and held out his hand to Ianto. "Come on. We'll talk while I cook. In the mood for anything in particular?"
"Not really hungry. Whatever you want to make." Ianto sighed ignoring Owen's hand and pushed him self up from the couch. Owen didn't say, or show anything, but Ianto felt his flash of hurt and felt guilty. He tried to ignore it. It was was for Owen’s own good. He was dangerous, and could hurt him. Owen turned and headed into the kitchen, Ianto following.
Jack hovered nearby, with a cup of hot tea, and Ianto could feel the emotions just wafting off him. Love, worry, fear, affection, and just a hint of lust. He turned and gave Jack a small smile.
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Date: Thursday, August 20th, 2009 10:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Friday, August 21st, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)*runs off to read the next chapter*