dru_evilista: "1: Collect underpants. 2: ??? 3: Profit!" (Jack Kinky Sex)
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Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalked again, a rant by dru_evilista.

qualli is stalking dru_evilista
qualli's REAL name :Nelly Hickey
qualli's REAL DOB :11th September 1975
Height :150 cmWeight : 72.0 kg
qualli has dreamt about you : 23 times
qualli became interested in you : 19th May 2007
qualli's latest dream about you
dru_evilista is awoken by the heavy breathing of qualli who is sitting on your bed stroking a fat ginger cat. Your stalker winks at you and pat's you on the groin whilst you attempt to cower in horror beneath your bed linen.
This is how qualli describes your relationship behind your back
'We'll be together forever. I know it. I can feel it in my heart. Thing's have never been better between me and dru_evilista!'
qualli's been stealing stuff from your house too.
A thick ball of your own ungroomed pubic yarn.
They've even started modifying their body for you
qualli recently spent a months salary, tattooing your head onto the inside of both of their thighs.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hug me. Kiss me. Fuck me.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 12 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hello is that the police? Ah good, it's just there's this maniac standing outside my house in the pouring rain waving at me, with flowers in their hand. I think they've been following me for the last year Their name? qualli."
qualli's Police File
qualli seems to have changed their ways in the past couple of years. Our only complaints are that it refuses to wash. You should have smelt their fucking cell after they were released. One of our wardens nearly died of shock.

Testimonies about qualli
missdarksoul - Charlie Manson's long-lost sibling
'To be honest I think dru_evilista and qualli deserve each other. Both of them are fucking idiots.'
sleepyheathen - A boring stoner
'Fucking hell, in all honesty I've never met a bigger wanker than qualli. Terrible person.'
highlander_ii - Pig-hustler
'qualli is pointlessness personified. I just wish they'd kill themselves or something.'

(no subject)

Date: Saturday, September 19th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sleepyheathen.livejournal.com
I am no a boring stoner! Unless that's referring to my wish to throw stones at people who bore me...

I would say 'wanker', though, that's all me.

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